The missing finger tip
and other exciting ways to work with me this week!
We have some people working on our new home to give it a fresh vibe as we prepare to move. The other day I was talking to the painter about which wall compound to use where and noticed he was missing the top half of his index finger. I immediately stopped listening and looked quickly at his face and then back at his finger, back to his face again. For a split second, I was transported back to a memory from 19 years ago and had to do a double take to make sure the missing finger and face were not the same missing finger and face from that time.
It was in fact a different man and different finger. Phew. When I was 19, I moved back to Petaluma from Chico where I was attending school at the time. I had decided to go to school to be an Esthetician so I lived with my parents and took on multiple jobs. I worked at Ihop serving up pancakes and senior specials and then shortly after I found The Boulevard Cafe. The owner, who if you are local and ever patron this diner may know, is a short man who is missing the tip of his index finger. One day during my shift as a waitress, he asked me if I’d like to go hang out at a hotel with him. Not knowing how to say no to my 35-40 year old, married with 4 kids, male, employer, I left my body and said something along the lines of “sure, ok”. I knew deep down I wasn’t going to go because what the actual fuck? As the restaurant came to a close that afternoon, I watched him pack a couple bottles of wine from the restaurant into a grocery bag for our “hang” later that evening.
I ended up ghosting him and never showed up to the hotel. I don’t know what I thought would happen but I had every intention of returning to work like that interaction never happened. Well, a day or two later, before my weekend shift approached, his wife called me to let me know that they no longer needed me to work at the restaurant. She let me go without any explanation or reasoning. I remember hanging up the phone feeling like it was my fault. If I had gone with him, I would’ve still had my job.
The restaurant still exists today and I drive by regularly on my way to work and think about that missing finger tip and how tender I need to be with the teenage B that was navigating the world doing the best she could. I love her so much. Our lives are and will continue to be filled with experiences all of which are here to remind us of our truth and the love that we are. They are here to bump up against any places inside of us that are tender not for fixing but for loving. When we love on these places, we heal them.
If you would like to come love on all the places inside of you that are calling for your attention through disease, physical pain, heartache, or discomfort of any kind, definitely come check out a breathwork experience or a series of private breathwork and somatic coaching sessions.
“I have participated in 6 sessions since April and cannot begin to describe how transformational the experiences have been for me.” -JK
Summer Saturdays Breathwork Experience
Rusty Hinges Ranch
June 21, 2025 @ 9-10am
UCC Petaluma
June 19, 2025 @ 7-8pm
For private Breathwork and Somatic Coaching sessions please reach out to connect and schedule a discovery call. All 1:1 sessions purchased through the month of June are $125! (Reg $225)
Kind of obsessed with Nicki and Em: